☣️ ic inbox;

[enblightened]

TEXT / AUDIO / VIDEO / ACTION

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Christmas Delivery

[lightthedarkness]

[Wrapped up in a bright red and white box is a plate of bought snowflake cookies.

Attached is a note with a little rabbit doodle:]

Happy Holidays!
Love,
Usagi

before the heartbreak of Varian & Fern, so like, idk, January 1; voice

[unsheathedfromreality]

Bigby, dear friend, [hello! It's Illarion, and he sounds cheerful,] I am understanding that Madam Generosity has been very generous indeed this month with us Sleepers.

What has she brought for you?

probably a good call

[enblightened]

That she has, it appears.

...Clothing. [HELPFUL.] It reminds me of how I used to dress before, in my days as a mere man.

at least we've got the Snake Den to ward off turbo depresso this month

[unsheathedfromreality]

[Clothing. Bigby, you (unintentional) tease.

Almost wheedling,] And how did you dress before? Is this something we will get to see you show off, hm?

lord knows they heckin need it

[enblightened]

[why is this flustering. why.]

It-- is a kind of suit.

Why would I wear it? I may very well ruin it if I were to transform.

preach

[unsheathedfromreality]

[Because it's Illarion's job on this curséd earth to fluster Bigby.]

Ahhhh. I am sure that suited, [illarion no,] the man you were as well as this one will suit you. [...Interesting, though. Madam Generosity had also gifted him something much more appropriate to who he'd been than who he is now.]

How many reasons would you like? I am giving you two to start: It is a gift from the kindest of Pthumerians, and I am certain you will look very handsome in it.

( visiting . . . )

[danserai]

[ a duck has arrived! ]

Hiii Mr. Bigby! I got some snacks and a new ballet to listen to! Are you there?

[enblightened]

[Normally, he is overjoyed to have Ahiru visit him at his humble encampment. She is a sweet friend, and he adores her so.

But it is today that he kneels at the fire, his hands shaking, trying to tighten his chains, sweat on his brow and a frantic look in his eyes. The bags under them are darker, easier to take notice of.

When he hears her approach, Bigby flinches.]

Ahiru--

[He squeezes his eyes shut.]

Forgive me, but... you ought to leave.

[danserai]

[ huh? that doesn't sound like him. is it because she brought the wrong snacks? or he's sick of ballet?

either way, she doesn't leave. ]

Uhm, is something wrong . . . ?

[enblightened]

[He shivers. Something wrong -- she couldn't know, why would she know? With a pained groan, a pair of horns grow out of his head.]

I have done... many a terrible thing, these past few days. Please, do not endanger yourself by being here.

[danserai]

Mr. Bigby . . .

[ that sounds really sad. she shuffles her feet outside for a minute. ]

Do you want to be alone? I can sit outside and wait until you feel better.

text; un: bad.apple

[laniidae]

I've found something for you. How are you feeling?

[enblightened]

you neednt bring anything for me
i am a bit improved i suppose

[laniidae]

I needn't, but I intend to. Buck up; it's given me something to do with myself, anyway.

[enblightened]

i suppose i cannot argue with that.
i am at my shelter should you like to come by

[laniidae]

Still in the woods, then? No one's bothered you.

text + gift, beginning of the month; un: illarion

[unsheathedfromreality]

There's a basket for you by a rock some hundred paces from your fire. The one shaped like a fang.

Just mushrooms and fish, I'm afraid, [and biscuits and fruit preserves, shh.]

Has Bausphomette ever appeared to you?

[enblightened]

you are too kind, illarion

nay
i admit i know little about the pthurmerians including he
why do you ask?

[unsheathedfromreality]

Exactly as kind as you deserve, dear one.

Working on a theory. Baus is the patron of transformation and becoming who one's meant to be. One of the Pthumerians, or maybe the only Pthumerian who really understands our inner lives. Very empathetic and patient with us, and loving to those who can't love themselves.

You two share a temperament and I'd introduce you, if they responded to summons. But no one's ever found one that can bring them. It's said they wander Trenchwood now and then though. And appear sometimes in times of great need. So I'd wondered.

Maybe one day. I've been making sacrifices to them on the off chance.

How does the new month find you?

[enblightened]

i see. i suppose i can see a resemblance in a way. perhaps in due time he will reveal himself in some manner. perhaps i too shall leave him an offering.

better than the last, but still a difficult one. i certainly feel more like myself.
most have remarked i was too harsh with myself
i know that martyrdom is easy to do, as if that will absolve one of their sins. i think that perhaps i shall leave judgment to those that were attacked.
albeit i know you've long since forgiven

[unsheathedfromreality]

If you meet a great antlered wolf in fur of wild colors, you'll know you've got their attention.

I'm glad to hear of the improvements, and you know you have me for the difficulties. Where I'm good for them.

You were too harsh. I agree with the others who love you, there. The man you were at the time is not the man you are and the man you are won't benefit from punishment.

Though I know what it is like. To commit a horror when you aren't yourself and feel like you should have been strong enough to choose otherwise, even if it was impossible. To feel it was still you doing it.

It's right and wise to let those who were hurt judge and not take that on yourself.

Very long since. What happened between us was as much my fault. Though I have been thinking about what you've said. About being kinder to myself.

audio, un: blue

[firstroar]

[...how to start. he doesn't even have a name to work with, beyond a user handle; not everyone is as on-the-nose with usernames like he is.

well...]

...Padlocks... Is that...your name?

[enblightened]

[Ah. This is unexpected.]

Merely a moniker I chose for communication. My name is Bigby.

What can I do for you?

[firstroar]

Bigby...

[after a hesitation:] I never thanked you.

For talking to me then.

[enblightened]

I need no thanks, but you are welcome all the same.

What you said... it is not dissimilar to how I might have felt a few times myself. Particularly when my worst self is all the more difficult to control.